We were supposed to go out of town this weekend but
we decided to pay the mortgage instead. I like staying at hotels, it's like
having your own Alice, you go out for the day and come back and your beds made
and you've got fresh towels. As much as I like the idea of having an
Alice, I like living in a whole house more.
DeWitte already took Friday off so we slept in,
went out for breakfast and went off for some outdoor fun. Fishing and crabbing,
that's as outdoorsie as we tend to get. It's the only sport (It is too
a sport..I looked it up, it's even got it's own magazine) I'd actually watch in
the Olympics but the Olympics is stuck up and only has sports, besides sumo
wrestling, that skinny people seem to like to do. Too bad we didn't check the
weather before we left.
The place we where fish is kind of funny. It's a 1/4 mile
pier, which means blood, guts and the smell of caviar in places, because
caviar tastes like the smell of dead fish, attached to a $$$ restaurant. That
promotes signs like this....
Which means one side of the parking lot is full of
valet parked Mercedes' and the other side is beat up pick-up trucks. DeWitte's
truck feels at home there.
We set all of our stuff up and the fishing/crabbing
commenced. That means people watching. The guys right behind us on the other side
of the pier were obviously tourists. You could tell because they looked like
someone gently picked them up by the back of their business casual striped Izod
shirts and set them on the pier. You don't wear business casual when you're
fishing. I had on DeWitte's 1983 Supertramp World Tour concert t-shirt (Which
proves he robbed the cradle. In 1983 I was three years from graduating high
school and he was off in college partying at concerts.), which I'm gonna wear a
lot more often because, from his reaction, you'd think I was wearing lingerie.
One guy was in his 50's and the other guy was
either his father or his father-in-law. The old guy seemed to have some disdain
for the younger guy so I'm gonna guess father-in-law. The old guy didn't move
from his chair most of the time we were there, he just sat there and grunted.
The younger guy never stopped moving. He had two fishing poles that he checked
on more than a nervous mother checks on her newborn baby. Only a mother would
never snatch her new born up so fast that she'd break it in two. Every time that
guy checked one of his lines, he pulled so hard his pole came apart, than he'd
get mad and swear.
Down the pier a little bit was a family that I can
only guess were from Brooklyn. It was the loudness and accent that gave them
away.
Oh! My! Gawd! Louie, get the camewra! I cawt a
cwrab! Get the camerwa, Louie, a cwrab!
Followed by Louie yelling that she should hwold yer
howses, he's getting the camewra. Then..
Oh! My! Gawd! Louie, get the camewra, I got a fish!
Hurry Louie, get the camewra!
I'm not sure why he had to hurry up, it's not like
the fish wasn't going anywhere.
Next to us was a foreign family. They spoke really
good English but I couldn't quite place the language they spoke when talking
among themselves, I think maybe Canadian. They were fairly large people and the
dad had on a pair of pink shorts that left him with a constant wedgie. Either he
wasn't wearing underpants or he was wearing a thong, neither of which I like to give much thought to.
After a couple of hours, the sky started to turn
black on the other side of the bay.
I thought maybe we should start packing up but
DeWitte was determined to stay. He was really busy and didn't want to
leave.
The people with common sense started leaving, one
by one, until it was just us and the old guy and his son-in-law. All of the sudden,
some woman that was so quaffed, she looked like she just came out of the fancy
restaurant next door, came running down the pier, yelling to "daddy" that a big
storm was on it's way. Hurry up and get their stuff. It was pretty obvious that
a big storm was on it's way but it certainly wasn't the hurricane she seemed to
think it was. They were probably from Florida..they take storms a lot more
seriously than we do.
The old guy got up at a snails pace, as the younger
guy continued to obsessive compulsively check his lines. The old guy pulled up
his crab trap and seemed surprised to find an actual crab, while the woman tried
to hurry them along. Grandpa finally seemed excited about something. Instead of
just pushing the crab back into the water (what are you gonna do with only one
crab?), he lunged for it. When he did, he tripped on one of the boards on the
pier a fell flat on his face. It was like he didn't have the natural reaction to
put his hands out in front of him, he fell like a freshly cut pine tree. Whoosh.
The lady started screaming Daddy, while the SIL just kept checking his lines
asking "What are you guys doing down there?", never once looking up. The old guy
was OK and the lady finally got the son-in-law to stop touching his fishing poles while
we were packing up our stuff.
We got off the pier just as the rain came
down so hard it made you wish you had an ark. The only thing we
caught all day was this...
But I still had a really good time. Tourists make
excellent entertainment.
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