Nathan's cats been running around here like a bat out of hell (It's really unfair to bats that they have that kind of reputation..bats are pretty cool.) for like two weeks. Knocking pictures off the top of the piano, jumping on to the tops of the doors and then jumping back down, attacking you when you walk past the staircase, generally being a pain in the ass. And then she stopped.
A couple days ago she started laying around and I was like Whew! because if she breaks one more thing I thought she might have to go live on "the farm". Then she didn't stop laying around and I was like Damn it!, what did she hurt. Did she jump onto of the ceiling fan and get flung across the room? Did she jump 20 feet off the top of the stairway banister and pull something? Nothing seemed to be broken, she didn't seem to be in pain, she was eating and drinking and using the litter box, maybe she just had a hairball or something. I gave her the hairball medicine and she didn't get any better, just laid around and slept all day. I told DeWitte we'd watch her one more day and then take her to the vet.
That was my reaction..Nathan's reaction was a little more intense. Nathan worried like a little old lady that ran out of her bran flakes and doesn't know how she's gonna stay regular. He laid on the floor and petted and poked her until I told him to leave her alone. Clearly she doesn't feel good..would he want someone worrying him to death if he didn't feel good? No? Then cut it out! No wonder all his cats run away! (Only one did..the other got into some kind of poison and we didn't have the heart to tell him.) Then he stood around and worried from a distance, doing everything but wring his hands.
He was so worried as of this morning, I didn't even let him go to the vet with the cat. I made DeWitte take the cat while I stayed here and updated Nathan with the current status every time DeWitte texted. By the time the final diagnosis was rendered (an infection, take these antibiotics and we'll see you in two weeks, that'll be $250 please. Thanks!), Nathan had gotten himself so worked up he was in the bathroom throwing up! It's just like ET and Elliot only without the flying bicycles and with a lot more puke.
So, right now, he's in bed with a sick headache, the cats gonna be fine and I've gotta go clean the toilet. If this is how he's gonna react to a sick cat..he better never have a kid.
Screw you edible arrangements!
OMG! Now she's trying to get to your dogs! Be afraid..be very afraid.
Nathan has turned 10. As a result, he thinks I've been giving him more mature chores...for example, delivering bags of tomatoes from my garden to the neighborhood. (So. Many. Tomatoes.) I'm not though, I'm just lazy and it's just hot and it's easier to make him do it. If it makes him feel more mature then everybody wins so it's all good!
This week I needed to run into 7-11. Nathan asked if he could wait in the car, since he's 10 now. I asked if he was sure, since it was a billion degrees and I never got my air conditioning fixed. He assured me, he did indeed want to wait in the car. Fine. I told him not to talk to any strangers and went into the store.
I came out about two minutes later to find Nathan waiting in the car with all the windows rolled up, the sun roof closed and the doors locked....Gah! If you leave a dog in the car with the windows rolled up when it's a billion degrees, they arrest you on the spot..if you leave a kid in the car with the windows rolled up and it's a billion degrees, I'm pretty sure the punishment is immediate execution.
I asked him what the hell he was thinking. He said he was worried that someone might punch him (?!) and he was pretty sure that a human fist couldn't break through a car window. So, lesson learned..if you're so worried that someones gonna punch you in the throat in a busy parking lot in the middle afternoon, to the extent that you willingly lock yourself into a 1 ton coffin, you're not old enough to stay in the car.
Too bad, I was looking forward to saving all that money on Slurpees.
I've been trying to get my hair colored I Love Lucy red for the last 10 or so years. It's happened once. I told the guy I wanted I Love Lucy red and got I Love Lucy red but had to sign away Nathan's older brother to get it. I've toyed with the idea of trying to do it myself but after doing so much damage to my hair in high school, I always thought better of it. At least in high school, if I messed up my hair it was all still good because that was before I had to tuck my boobs into my belt. You can get away with a lot before gravity takes effect. Afterward, you need to be careful.
Well, my sister came to visit last week. She works at a hair care distribution place that only sells the highest of high end items..this stuff is so fancy, you can't even buy it at Target and she brought me a great big box full. That box is worth more than every hair cut I'll get in my entire lifetime. I started going though it, there's moisturizing shampoo, moisturizing conditioner, moisturizing oil junk..everything you might need to take care of damaged hair and that made me say Hmmmm, I wonder if I could do it myself because the other day, DeWitte took a picture of Nathan on the pier and I wondered who the man was standing behind him, only to realize that man was me...time to girly myself up a bit!
I remembered that the guy bleached my hair and then colored it..so that's where I started. I went to Sally's, got my bleach, my dye, my bottles and all the other magic hair stuff I might need for a nice dye job and highlights. I came home and got right to work. I bleached my hair and eyebrows blond..and I did not have more fun, I looked more like an albino with a spray tan. Then I applied my dye, tried not to think about the burning sensation on my scalp, waited the appropriate amount of time, jumped in the shower and thought about the outfit I was gonna wear when I made DeWitte take me out to dinner with my smokin' I Love Lucy hair. I got out of the shower and dried off, thinking I'd wear green, that looks great with red hair...I looked in the mirror and almost screamed out loud..I did NOT have I Love Lucy hair..I had pink hair. Bubble gum pink..cotton candy pink..Cyndi Lauper in the 80's pink..No Way, Mary Kay! Cadillac pink! It was an "Oh Shit!" moment if there ever was one.
I ran downstairs, physically threw Nathan off of my computer and Googled like I've never Googled before. I read that I needed to neutralize the pink with green and ash blond has a green base. DeWitte just happened to be at the drug store and like all good husbands, wouldn't want to be seen in public with a pink haired wife before the age of 75 and then only with a helmet perm, so he picked me up a couple boxes of hair dye, since I wasn't leaving this house, for one second, before it was fixed.
He came home with my stash and I didn't waste a second. I applied my dye and tried not to think about the red hot burning pain on my scalp, all the while praying that my hair wouldn't start breaking off in huge chunks. I didn't think Locks Of Love would help you out because of pure stupidity. I washed the dye out and my hair was no longer pink..it was dirty blond with a pink cast. *sigh* That would never do but I figured I'd better give it a rest for a couple days due to the blisters that were forming on my scalp.
I walked around with dirty pink-blond hair all weekend, peeking around corners everywhere we went, like a stressed out spy, just in case I ran into anybody I knew..because if you are going to run into people you know, it's gonna be when you are sporting super ugly dirty pink-blond hair and eyebrows.
After making it through the weekend feeling only slightly humilated, I took another trip to Sally's for something called "filler". That's the important step I didn't pay attention to when that man gave me my I Love Lucy hair so many years ago. I was kind of scared at this point to do anything else, and then when I saw that the filler was red..not I Love Lucy red but firetruck red I almost lost my nerve. If dirty pink-blond was bad..Ronald McDonald could not be better. I didn't feel like I had much choice at that point, though, so I jumped in..and it worked! I used the filler then re-dyed my hair for the millionth time in four days and I'm now the proud owner of a shock of I Love Lucy hair with a firetruck tint.
And what did I learn from this entire fiasco? That I'll never pay anybody else to dye my hair I Love Lucy red ever. again! Oh..and use filler.
