We'd just come home from the pet store. I was looking for a PH meter for cheese making purposes. I'm trying to go chemical free with cultures like buttermilk, which I'm not afraid of anymore. When I was a kid it tasted horrible but since I had some here, why not taste it with a more ahem mature pallet (Yeah right!). It tastes like liquid sour cream. Since I wouldn't drink sour cream, I doubt I'd drink that either but it's a nice low fat substitute for using it in things like mashed potatoes. DeWitte was looking for snails because his fish tank looks like the pool in the camp ground in the first National Lampoon's Vacation and Nathan was looking for anything he might possible be able to talk us into buying. That included a cat toy and some treats for the rabbit. Alright, maybe the rabbit treats were my idea.
Anyhow, DeWitte and Nathan cuddled up on the couch to watch "The Incredible Mr. Limpit". Don Knots, what an actor, I'm shocked that guy never won an Oscar and I sat down at my computer to check my email. I had a PM from Janie, they were on their way through town, did we want to meet up at the mall. Heck yes!
Now, ideally, in a situation like that, I'd have been on a sand and water diet with a little corn meal thrown in for added nutritional value for about a month, I'd have had my hair cut, colored and highlighted and would have had a brand new wardrobe but I didn't have that kind of time. Instead I put some goo stuff in my hair, told Nathan that if he could find his shoes in less than fifteen min. I'd buy him a Build-A-Bear, too, and we were out the door.
I have to admit I was a little nervous. I've never met anyone, well besides DeWitte, that I know online in real life before. Not that I was worried that Janie and Steve were serial killers or anything, they've got too many kids to get away with something like that. It's that kind of thing kids turn you in for. Well, I had no reason to be nervous, it was great! We met at Build-A-Bear and then went to the food court for drinks, non-alcoholic, of course, they had a lot of driving still to do. It was a ton of fun, they're just as nice as they are online and their kids are just charming but OMG...the entire family is so skinny! The whole bunch of them could fit in a leg of my pants, they're that thin. If they were here during a hurricane, I'd have to tie them all down with rope just so they didn't blow away. I don't know how you even get a metabolism like that but if anybody knows, I'll take two please.
Anyway, we sat and talked until they had to leave. Next time I hope they can stay longer, maybe come over to the house so I can fatten them up on homemade cheese and pasta. Yeah, I'm gonna be one of those old ladies, I can tell already.
Now, my only question is, does this count as a Vox meet up, because I want free stuff, too.
Nathan's cat, Gertrude, is in heat. I haven't had her fixed yet because they want three hundred dollars to fix a cat at our vet and I'm not paying three hundred dollars to fix a cat. I'd call animal control and see if they could recommend some place but they'd just have me arrested because we let DeWitte's cat go outside. I'm just gonna wait for the snip-it van to come close to the area and take her there. Three hundred dollars...right! I could probably get DeWitte fixed for less than that.
Anyway, so now we've got a kitten/cat (she's a woman now, right?) howling and yowling and rolling all over the floor. Every tom cat in the area has managed to find our house, they sit on the deck and ask Gertrude if they can buy her a drink. I know how they are. Get her all liquored up, have their way with her and then take no responsibility at all for the babies. No sir, not gonna happen. I'll get her a cat chastity belt first, which would still probably cost less then three hundred bucks.
This has, however, been a learning experience. Nathan's got a ton of questions.
N. What's wrong with my cat?
Me. She's in heat.
N. What does that mean?
Me. Her bodies ready to have babies.
N. So what does that make her in human years? About thirty? That's when you can have babies, right?
Me. No, that makes her a teenager. That's when people hit puberty and your body changes. A boy gets facial hair, among other things, and girls get breasts and stuff. (DeWitte said I should have said yes, you can't have babies till you're thirty.)
N. Girls have babies, why do boys hit puberty, too?
Me. It takes a boy and a girl to make a baby.
N. It does?! (Completely amazed and taken off guard.)
Obviously, he hasn't been around the block yet. I guess it's a good thing we keep those PG-13 movies down to a minimum. I'd have given him more information but everything I read said don't volunteer information. Answer the questions that they ask, answer them honestly and on their level. At this rate, he'll hit puberty before he finds out why it takes a boy and a girl to make a baby.
Well, his quest for knowledge on the cat in heat thing hasn't been dampened by the conversation that we had. Yesterday at the library, Nathan got the ultimate cat book, to see what they had to say on the subject. I'm glad to see he's learned to use an index. He took it to bed last night and when DeWitte went to tuck him in, he had the page open to the "cat's in love" section. On the page was a drawing of a cat in mating position, raring to go. Nathan read the passage under the picture to DeWitte. When the word mating came up and Nathan remarked, "Whatever that is.", DeWitte put his fingers in his ears and sang LALALALA, all the way back down stairs. Sex talk isn't his forte, even if it just involves cats.
This morning, proud of his new found knowledge, Nathan bounds into our room with the book and plops it down, open to the cat's in love page. "Right there, that's a picture of a cat in heat that's assumed the position." Like I needed a picture, I had a live version sitting right there on the foot of my bed. I looked at his picture and read the passage above. All I can say is it's a good thing that Nathan only reads what he has to because it described cat lovin' in such detail that when I pointed it out to DeWitte, he slammed the book closed like it was Penthouse Letters or something. Cat porn, right there in our own bedroom! The nerve. I'm glad the book didn't have any more pictures or DeWitte would have taken it back, right then and there.
I'm not sure how long cat's stay in heat, maybe I should look that up in the cat book. I can say it hasn't been boring but snip-it van, here I come!
Show us a tattoo.
Surely!
I just bought these at a kick ass toy store we stopped at in Winchester Va.
I also got one of these..
smells like Pez. Now I've gotta watch my back all day and hope I don't get mugged by a three year old. It was the only thing within reach..that's why I used it. Because I'm dry skinned and lazy, now I have to suffer the consequences.
If I get a sandwich or something and don't eat it all right away, I've got to call dibs on it when I set it down or DeWitte or Nathan will pounce on it faster than a cat on a mouse sprinkled with catnip. I'd start licking my food to keep them away but I don't think that would make one bit of difference.
We're on our way home. About four or so hours more to go. When we were younger we'd have just pushed right on through but now that we aren't younger, we'd rather stop and be comfortable for the night instead of tired and cranky but home. Besides, I don't have to clean a hotel and I like being in a position not to have to clean.
I saw a sign at McDonald's drive-thru tonight that said that they have braille and picture menu's if you want one. If you're blind or you can't read, how does this sign help you at all? It should be more in announcement form, rather than written out. It's like braille on the drive-thru ATM's. If you need that you shouldn't be driving.
What have you tried in life that you just weren't very good at?
Sports. Any kind, any shape and any form. Sucked, double sucked, sucked with a cherry on top.
If at first I didn't succeed, I could bet I'd hurt myself the next time.
I did! After I made it, of course.
My cheese kit came yesterday and I couldn't wait to dig in.
It comes with everything you need, rennet tablets, citric acid, "cheese salt", which is just kosher salt, and an anal probe. I didn't need the anal probe, I've got a nice digital probe that doesn't remind me at all of a rectal thermometer, so I used that one, instead. The only thing I didn't have was a gallon of whole milk. Nathan's the only one in the house that drinks milk so I only buy it by the half gallon and only skim, at that. DeWitte was on his way home from work, so I called him and asked him to stop by the store. He did, and came home with the right stuff, whole, not ultra-pasteurized, milk (You never know. I asked him to pick up fresh beats once and he came home with turnips.) and we got started right after dinner.
First thing you do is mix 1 1/2 tsp. of the citric acid in the pan with some chlorine free water and a quarter of a rennet tablet, in a separate bowl, with some more chlorine free water. I thought I might be in trouble, there. I didn't have any chlorine free water. Then DeWitte reminded me of the 438 half filled (Or half empty, depending on just how much of a drag you want to be.) bottles of water in my car. Perfect!
Next, you pour the milk in the pan and heat it to 88', while stirring.
We still have 40' to go, so keep stirring.
After the milk gets to 88', you pour in the rennet mixture, which you can see on the top right in the picture, sitting in the pretty bowl that I got from RPM.
Then you let it sit for about 8 or so min. and let the curd form. When it's done, you transfer the curd to a bowl with a ladle. Do not try and use a spider (one of those Chinese wire type things with a bamboo handle.), you'll just make a mess.
At this point, leave DeWitte to get the curd out while you go to the sink and try and drain the stuff you've already got. After you get your sleeves and half of the front of you wet with whey, pull up your sleeves and put on your new pretty tomato apron you got from the craft fair last weekend.
Once you get as much whey squeezed out as you can, throw it in the microwave for one min. When it comes out, knead more of the whey out with a spoon.
Don't worry if you talked it up big time that you can handle the heat with your hands. If anybody says anything, just ask if they want to do it. They won't because they can't even handle hot water out of the tap without whining. When it's cool enough to handle, knead it like bread until it cools all the way down.
Then you pop it back into the microwave for another 35 seconds and do it again...
One more time back into the microwave for 35 seconds and it gets melty and even more cheese like. Now you knead it and stretch it and when it gets shiny, you form in into a ball..or a log if you want to because it's your cheese and if you want to form it into a triangle, you can.
Then it's into an ice water bath to cool all the way down.
All this in the quest of making the perfect snack..
My cheese turned out a little firmer than I'd have liked but the kit comes with enough stuff to make 30 batches so I've got plenty left to experiment with.
I got my kit at Cheesemaking.com, if you want to give it a try. They have a kit for harder cheese, too, like Monterey Jack and Gouda. I think I'll try that one next.
Yesterday I was so fat I couldn't hardly stand to keep my jeans buttoned but today I'm back to normal. I'm not complaining, of course, but I don't understand how that happens. How can you be as big as a parade balloon one day and back to your normal self the next?
The last time I saw it, it was playing with the cat...
Uh Oh!
No, not really, she just hates the little feather hat on that Easter Card and decided to put it out of it's misery.
