without beddin' her back down."
Man, I love that movie.
The cat likes the Wii, too.
To be fair I should post a picture of Cleo doing something cute but all she ever does is this..
Now, I gotta go clean my kitchen. I wish I had a maid, I hate cleaning.
if you insist on eating radishes all afternoon, you shouldn't be surprised by the gastrointestinal consequences. I guess I'll switch back over to celery now, thanks. It's got one less calorie per serving, anyhow. (Not that radishes have a lot. 20 calories a cup, not bad for an afternoon snack.) I just wish it was tomato season already.
Speaking of tomato season, it won't be long now, look what I've got popping up all over my yard...
And if that's not enough to convince all you Yankee's that spring is just around the corner, even the bumpass hounds can feel it in the air...
sucker sign written somewhere on my body that some people can read with surprising speed. I think it must be on my forehead for it to be so obvious, maybe I should grow my bangs thicker. It's not the first time it's happened.
A few years ago we had a bad storm and everyone had a bunch of trees down in their yard. This guy that seemed kind of down on his luck came to the door and asked if we had any work. Well, we had a tree that needed to be cut up so we hired him to do it. Not a week later he was back, asking for more work. We didn't have any and told him so. That's when he asked to borrow a hundred dollars. We told him we didn't have a hundred dollars and he left. A week after that he was back again, this time not to ask for work, just to borrow money. We told him, again, we didn't have any money and as he turned around to leave he fell off of the porch, flat onto his face. He said he was ok and limped to his car. The next day he came back with a brace on his leg and told us that it was broken. I could feel my home owners insurance going up by the minute. I kept waiting to hear from a lawyer or something but nothing ever came of it, thank goodness.
Another time this guy was going from door to door with a bike and a lawn mower asking for yard work. DeWitte was working long hours, Nathan was little and his price was good so we hired him. After he mowed the lawn a couple times he started just stopping over the house to borrow stuff. Then DeWitte found his razor and junk in the garage, he'd moved in without us knowing. Our garage is far from the house and we never locked it, he must have been coming and going in the night. DeWitte locked the garage door, I don't even think he put the guys stuff outside, and we never saw him again.
Today just as Nathan got off the bus, I look and who is walking across my yard but Miss. Beady, the junk lady, with some rough looking guy and a gas can. All I could think was "Oh, crap, I knew it!" I knew it when she borrowed all that stuff when she was here getting the boat. I knew that wasn't the last we'd see of Miss Beady, she'd seen my secret sign. She walked up on the porch and gave me her hard luck story, she'd run out of gas about a mile and half away and had walked to my house to ask for help. She wanted to know if I'd give them a ride to the gas station and back to their truck. UGGGGG!!! I told her I'd give her a ride, knowing that's the only way I'd get rid of them. Miss Beady isn't the kind of lady that's gonna take no for an answer, especially from such a wimp like me. Then she asked if I had any money she could borrow because she didn't have any of that either. I didn't. Then she borrowed my phone, a cigarette, and a phone book. She called a half a dozen people that had no problem telling her no and then called her junk yard. They said they'd give her money if she could get over there to get it. So, now I'm taking her and her rough looking friend to the junk yard, the gas station and their truck. Not what I had planned for the afternoon.
I called DeWitte to tell him what was going on just in case we turned up dead or the house got broken into when we were gone (I gotta tell you, I don't feel as safe now that we've got nice stuff. It used to be I wouldn't mind if someone broke in and stole all our stuff, the insurance money alone would be worth it. Now I lock, not only all the doors, but the windows, too. If I ever lock myself out again, I'm screwed.) We all piled into my car and we're off. Miss Beady made me feel increasingly uncomfortable because in such close quarters I could smell the alcohol on her breath and then she started asking questions about whether we close our bedroom doors at night and commenting on how nice our washer and dryer were, that she'd seen through the back door the last time she was here. I just wanted to get this whole thing over with. I tried to make small talk to change the subject but what do you talk to a junk lady about? I asked her where she found her junk and we talked the pro's and con's of different junk yards. Lucky the junk yard wasn't far from the house, because I'd run out of stuff to talk about.
Miss Beady got out of the car to go get her money and her rough looking companion actually turned out to be pretty nice. He told Nathan what they did with all the metal, and they talked about old cars, a favorite subject of Nathan's. Miss Beady came back and I high tailed it to the gas station and then their truck. She asked me to stay a min. in case she needed a jump.
I'll tell you, I didn't like one thing about the entire experience. It was stupid and naive of me to put Nathan and I into a position like that because I lack the back bone to say no. I'll have to think of something believable to tell her next time she shows up, besides I don't want to, you make me uncomfortable, because there will be a next time, there is always a next time for people that can read my secret sign.
I call this recipe Bye Bye Chicken Pot Pie because it goes so fast, bye bye is the only thing you can say to it. It's a one dish dinner that needs to be doubled or someones gonna be left wanting. Honest, I've never made this and ever had any leftovers, even when I make it for just the three of us, but then I only make one pie.
(I'm not vain enough to think anyone is ever gonna make this, but if you do, read the direction, things are subject to change.)
Here's what you need...
Some chicken. I like chicken breasts that I find on sale cheap. Three is pretty good for two pies. |
A couple stalks of celery, an onion, some garlic, and some potatoes.. |
A stick of butter. Yeah, an entire stick. I never said this was good for you, I just said it was good and doesn't butter make everything better? |
I forgot to take a picture of this but you need 12 TBS. of all purpose flour. |
Four cups of chicken broth or the equivalent in bouillon or better than bouillon and like the name says, it is. Better Than Bouillon that is. And don't judge me for that measuring cup! I've got nice two cup ones too but this is my only four cup and it's old. Now I've got to go buy a new one out of shame..fine. |
Two cups of half and half. If you want to save calories, you could use evaporated milk but I wasn't trying to save calories, I was trying to make it taste good. |
A bag of frozen mixed vegetables for added nutrition, you could just add some peas and carrots but if you can get kids to eat Lima beans without their knowledge, I say go for it. It's like a one-two punch, they actually eat them and you get the satisfaction of seeing them eating them after they whine and cry that they hate them so much. |
Now the crust. I would never ask anyone to make they're own unless you're some kind of masochist and if that's the case, torture yourself away. I just buy the pre-made stuff to save time and also my sanity. I like to use a regular pie crust for the bottom and puff pastry for the top. |
Preheat your oven to 425' 1. Ok, the first thing you need to do is get your chicken ready. Since you didn't buy any boneless chicken at the store because you knew you had some in the freezer, go ahead and get it out the second you remember you forgot to take it out and now you've got to quickly defrost it or you won't be eating until 8. When you get your chicken out, realize that you don't actually have any boneless, all you've got is bone in. Stand in front of your fancy microwave and try and figure out how exactly to make it defrost. That things got more buttons than the cockpit of the space shuttle. Once you figure that out, de-bone freezing cold raw chicken. You can put some warm water in the sink to plunge your hands into when you can no longer feel them. Make sure and stop and wash your hands before you help whatever kid needs help with whatever they need help with. When you've got it de-boned, cut it into bite sized pieces, season with salt and pepper and your favorite chicken seasoning, sage, thyme, lemon pepper, poultry seasoning, whatever floats your boat. |
Now stir fry it in a pan big enough to fit all of the ingredients pictured above except for the crust, that's not going into the actual pan, until you think it's pretty much cooked. When chicken is throughly cooked, it feels like the heel of your hand when it's all the way open but I just taste it. It hasn't killed me yet. |
2. While your chicken is cooking cut up our non bagged vegetables. Make sure you cut the celery and onions small or DeWitte will pick them out. While your cutting up your fourth potato, decide that three's enough so eat the other one with some salt. What can I say, I've never met a raw vegetable I didn't like and I'm Irish. |
Anyway, this stuff tastes like fresh garlic. You can find it in nicer grocery store so I try and pick up a couple whenever I got. My grocery store would never carry something this handy. |
3. Now is when you add the flour. No darn well you aren't going to measure out 12 TBS. of flour so yell into the living room and ask how many tablespoons are in a cup. Discount the 8 answers that seem smart ass and settle for the one that sounds reasonable. It's 3/4 of a cup. Stir it in and let it cook for about three min. unless you like your food tasting like paste. |
4. Add the chicken broth slowly, stirring until smooth in between. I know that they always show them pouring it all in on the cooking shows but whenever I do that I just get a big lump. |
5. Now add the half and half but don't let it boil! I'm not sure how they do that on TV, either, whenever I let it boil it curdles. It still tastes the same but then the kids say "Eww, why does this look funny!" and then you've got to convince them that it tastes just fine and that's a conversation I'd rather just not have. |
6. Add the chicken back in and the bag of mixed vegetables and heat throughly..but not to boiling. Now tastes it and add salt and pepper if you need to. |
7. Get a couple pie pans and add your bottom crust. (I should add that you need to follow the directions on the package for thawing and stuff before you get started...see that's why I told you to read this thing first!) Spread the filling evenly between the two and top with puff pastry and if I see you even try and cut that pastry to fit, I'll take away your licence to cook. That's the best part, just fold corners into the middle. Kind of squish the edges together so it doesn't bubble all over inside your oven, you know what a pain it is to clean the oven. Put some slits in the top so that steam can escape, if you think dripping filling is bad, an explosion would be a disaster. Say bye bye to your Saturday and hello to the Easy Off cleaner. |
8. Cook in a 425' oven for about 30 min. but start to watch it after about 20, every oven is different. I've learned that through experience, nothing worse than a burned up pot pie. |
| 9. When it looks like this, it's done. |
You should let it sit for 15 or 20 min. but after 15 or 20 min. around here, this is what you're gonna see. Make sure and stash a piece away for yourself for lunch the next day, it's even better. |
So, I would never recommend making a dish like this every day, unless you have some kind of personal vendetta against your arteries, but if you want a real crowd pleaser, you really can't beat chicken pot pie, well, unless your a vegetarian, then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe tofu instead but Bye Bye Tofu Pot Pie just doesn't have the same ring. |
Let's start with this guy and his ratty ass truck..
I'm surprised he could read such a big word. I hate jerks like this. I think it's pretty fair to say that I'm prejudiced against prejudiced people.
As everybody on the planet knows, Britney Spears' little sister, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. What you may not know is that she's the star of a show on Nickelodeon called "Zoey 101" (When I first heard that she was pregnant I thought maybe she and Chase finally hooked up, he's in love with Zoey but doesn't want to tell her because he's worried it'll ruin their friendship. Seeing as they're only what, 15 or 16, I think that's a good idea.). Well, the pregnancy thing may be old news to everyone else but it's a topic of regular conversation at my house. Why? Nathan loves "Zoey 101", which is how I know that plot line and he's got questions after he saw all the pictures on the front of the tabloids at the grocery store.
N "Do you think Zoey will have her baby in London?" (That's part of the show.)
Me "Zoey 101 isn't real. It's pretend. Zoey isn't pregnant, the girl that plays the character is."
N "Oh, like Freddie on ICarly's real name is Nathan?"
Me "Yes, just like that, it's pretend. Like when you pretend that you're a truck driver."
N "I wonder if Chase is the father." (I wondered that same thing!)
Me "The shows not real, it's pretend."
N "So Zoey's not really pregnant?"
You can see how this might be a little frustrating so I've decided to have a some fun with it. In one of Nathan's Nickelodeon magazines is a game called "A trip to the library" where the kids are supposed to match up the book with the author. I've changed it to match the pregnancy joke with the punch line.
1. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
2. When is the best time to get an epidural?
3. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
4. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room with my wife? (or in this case, teenage girlfriend.)
5. What is the most reliable method to determine the baby's sex?
6. When will my baby move?
7. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
8. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
9. My childbirth instructor said it's not pain but pressure I'll feel during labor. Is she right?
10. What are the terrible two's?
A. With any luck, right after high school.
B. Your breast, after baby stops nursing cold turkey.
C. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
D. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
E. Childbirth.
F. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
G. In your breasts.
H. It means you feel as though not only a crown but an entire throne is making it's way out of your body.
I. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
J. Yes, the same way a tornado might be called an air current.
