I've spent the last two days straight reading this book....
It was the longest book I've read since Atlas Shrugged..Almost a thousand pages! Unlike Atlas Shrugged, it was a good book but after about 850 of the pages I told myself that if someone didn't hurry up and kill the bad guy by page 950, I was gonna go back to the year 1135 and do it myself! I hope I didn't give anything away by that.
So what did I miss? I guess I'll go read and find out. What did you miss? Well, my cars in the shop. It's finally got enough stuff wrong with it and my inspection is due, so I didn't have a choice but to take it over there. I hate driving in Virginia Beach (That's where the dealership is.). It's all U-turns and signs that are too small. I think they do that on purpose so all of the tourists get lost and spend more money on gas.
They gave me a pretty loaner car. It's a blue Mini-Cooper decked out with fog lights and stuff. It this years model..boy have they changed! That car has more buttons than the space shuttle. It took me till I got home to figure out how to move the mirrors. Lucky DeWitte was with me so he could check before I changed lanes, I didn't want to kill anyone in a loaner car. At one point my butt and back started getting warm..I thought maybe it was a heat flash and I'd started going through early menopauses but no, DeWitte had pushed the heat the seat button. I'm not used to fanciness like that, I usually depend on my ample butt fat to heat the seat for me.
We've been on the great kitten hunt. Right after Halloween Nathan's cat Randy was acting funny. He was eating and drinking but just acting more lethargic than normal so we decided to keep our eye on him.. Then one day he went out and never came back. He never went far from the house so we suspected he'd gotten into something, poison or antifreeze, something like that. Anyway, we looked everywhere. DeWitte even went under the house..no Randy.
Nathan and that cat were inseparable, so he was pretty devastated. Not that we told him what we suspected, I didn't have the heart. As I've said before, I don't really care if we have animals or not (I know...dangerous words to say around here!) but in the last three months I've said no to a dog, a goat, birds, and rodents of all shapes and sizes..we've got a rabbit, Frank, he's enough rodent for any family.
Anyway it's become pretty clear that Nathan needs his own cat. First, he's a good pet owner. I never have to remind him to give the animals food or water and he's more than loving. Second, he's gotten cat crazy. Cat calenders, cat posters, cat library books and as much as I love hearing him read to me, I don't want to listen to "How Kittens Grow" one more time. Third, and most important, he's turned his affections to Cleo, DeWitte's old cantankerous cat. So far she's put up with it but I don't know how much longer she will. She doesn't seem to mind him petting her but her tail starts flipping around when he tries to carry her. I really don't think she's gonna wanna be taught to read her name (Little Cleo signs have started popping up at cat eye level.) and I know for a fact she won't put up with Circus Cat..That's where Nathan takes his cat and puts it in the rabbits portable cage, which is sitting on his Radio Flyer wagon, pulls it across the yard, takes the cat out and tries to teach it tricks. Cleo would take his eyes out no matter how many treats might be offered and I don't think our insurance pays for cosmetic surgery.
We've been looking on-line at different shelters and stuff. I think this weekend we'll got to the actual shelters themselves. He needs a young cat that doesn't mind being carried everywhere it goes, has no problem with being taught to read and enjoys getting cat treats for standing on it's back legs and jumping over a stick..or at least trying anyway. Cleo's gonna hate it but at least she won't have to put up with Nathan anymore and Nathan will get to keep his eye sight. It's almost a win-win.
As you might imagine, the pots and pans have been flying fast and furious around here these days. Some of it good, like the sortoflikechickenpiccataonlysweeter sauce I made up. And some of it not so good..or inedible, like the Italian pork deal served on a bed of polenta and garnished with roast shallots and tomatoes....barf. Luckily I'd also made a pot of Zuppa Toscana just like Olive Gardens that day because DeWitte almost dared me to try, so he didn't have to go hungry because I don't even think the Bumpasses dogs would have eaten that mess.
On Sunday morning DeWitte asked if I could make Jambalaya, we saw a Throw Down With Bobby Flay episode about Jambalaya, it must have put him in a New Orleans state of mine. Well, their demands are my request because I'm running out of ideas. I was intrigued. Not only have I never made Jambalaya, I've never had the opportunity to try it, either. Let the research begin!
The first thing I do when I'm trying a new dish is to read as many recipes I can..maybe do a little history on it, too, just so I don't stray too far from authentic. While I'm reading the recipes, I write down the ingredients I like and kick the rest to the curb. That way I have a general outline but can make the recipe up as I go.
The ingredient list went thusly...
An onion..I like sweet onions but you could use any kind you like.
Leeks or scallions...why onions and leeks? Reading the history of it I found out it's Spanish/French..I think the onion/leeks are a compromise.
Bell Peppers..1 green and 1 red
Celery..about 4 stalks
Garlic..as little or as much as you want
Cajun Seasoning..about 1/2 tsp. I used store bought.
Cayenne pepper..about 1/2 tsp. I say about because I just use the palm of my hand to measure.
Thyme or Oregano..about 1/2 tsp. I used thyme because DeWitte thinks he hates oregano but I don't think he'd know it if he was eating it.
1 lb. smoked sausage. The kielbasi kind, not the ground Italian kind you'd use in pasta sauce. The recommended sausage was andouille but fat chance of finding that at my grocery store!
3/4 lb. smoked ham
A pack of chicken legs. A small one, not a big family pack.
As much shrimp, peeled and uncooked as you like. Personally I hate shrimp but I just gave mine to whoever yells "me" first when I ask who wants my shrimp.
2-14 1/2 cans of tomatoes. I like the fire roasted kind with garlic.
2-14 1/2 cans of chicken broth. I use the better than bouillon stuff, though, so I just filled the tomato cans with water and put in the chicken stuff accordingly.
A bay leaf..which I forgot and not one person of the seven people I was feeding asked where the bay leaf was..I don't think anybody even knows if you use a bay leaf or not..it's like fresh cracked pepper..nobody knows the difference between fresh cracked or course ground out of the spice rack. I think people just like to sound fancy saying fresh cracked pepper.
White wine..which was on my list but I forgot that, too.
Now...if you're saying to yourself, "Damn, that's a lot of ingredients!", you'd be right because, damn..that's a lot of ingredients! Looking over the list I did notice one thing missing. It's got a lot of spices and meat but not so many vegetables..so add a bag of frozen gumbo veggies to your list if you care about nutrition..if not, go head and get scurvy, what do I care.
The first thing you do is have Nathan roast one of your peppers. Since I like to roast peppers, too, who doesn't like playing with fire, I have him do the jalapeño so that when we get to the larger peppers he whines that it's too heavy so I can do the rest myself. Why roast them? Because it's fun and it's fancy and then they match the tomatoes. Kind of like when you coordinate your socks and your sweater. If you don't have a gas stove, you can do it in the broiler..just watch it close.
After you roast them you put them in a paper bag to steam so the skin comes off easy, while you wait, cut up the rest of your veggies (except the added bonus veggies..they just go in like they are but not yet or they'll just melt away.). If you hate to mince garlic like I hate to mince garlic but don't like the jar kind..get one of these nifty gadgets and an 8 year old that loves anything with wheels and you'll never have to mince your own garlic again. By then your peppers will be ready and you can take off most of the black part and cut them up..but not the jalapeño yet.
Put some olive oil or butter in a pan and sweat all of you vegetables until they're tender then add the tomatoes, chicken stock and thyme. Cut up the sausage so they're like little patties and cut up the ham so it's bite size..throw them in the pot. Put the chicken (which I had already put the cajun seasoning on earlier to flavor it.) in the pot and simmer it until the chickens done.
When the chicken's done (about 25-30 min.) take it back out and put it in the fridge to cool. Add about another cup or so of chicken broth and the bag of gumbo vegetables, bring it to a boil and put in the rice. Turn the heat down to a simmer and cover the pot, stirring often because that rice sinks like a lead balloon and will burn faster than a christmas tree..and those things burn quick! It should be done in about 20 min. While you're waiting, take the meat off the chicken legs.
When the rice is done, add the chicken and the shrimp and stir. Simmer until the shrimp isn't battleship gray anymore but it's orange and looks like it's gonna taste good but it's not no matter how many times you try it.
Ok...this step is crucial. Take out another pot and transfer some of the jambalaya. Enough to feed the kids in your group or you're unfortunate friends with wicked heartburn (you can't please everyone but you can try!). Then add the jalapeño and the cayenne to the big pot.
And that's it! Serve it with some crusty bread. I used bagels because that's all I had. Yum..who wants my shrimp?
I don't know why I don't have my own cooking show!
Show us a brand to which you're loyal.
Ok, so he's not a brand yet, but I'm working on it....
Nathan reminded me on the way to "School Night at CiCi's" that his book character parade is on Fri. I knew I should have written that down! He's said, "You didn't forget did you?" No, I didn't forget. That's why he's seen me spend so much time not making a costume. Of course I forgot! So now I've got until Friday morning to come up with a children's book character for him to be. It's gotta be fast, easy and cheap. *banging head on keyboard*
Last year he went as the Man In The Yellow Hat but looked more like a broke back gay cowboy. It was an insult to gay people everywhere.
Off to search the internet....but very open to ideas! (Besides making DeWitte do it. If DeWitte did it, he'd be a gay cowboy again this year but with maybe a stuffed monkey as a prop.)
had to die to make these slippers...
Well, at least one! Poor Muppet...they sure do keep my feet warm, though.
I guess I'd better go get dressed, it's already 10:30. Such a charmed life I lead..
Mahna Mahna....
