Well, I clicked it...

Everybody in my neighborhood has been doing this quiz (That's SnoringKats blog..do. not. piss. her. off!)  If you do this quiz, at the bottom, it says "Brought to you by.." and after that it changes. It's been discreet adult toys and adult toy parties seems to be a favorite. I've gotten a real kick out of that and for that you need to blame my mother. I have a mother that's really open about sex..Thank God! (Not my dad, though, the word breast can send him running faster than a cat on a hot tin roof.) When I was a teenager, I never understood why my parents would go up to bed and my mom would get back up. Now that I've got a kid, I know, though we're more morning people, which is why DeWitte's always late for work. Good for them. I'm also thankful for all that butt pinching and gross kissing and hugging they do all the time. When Nathan says eww..I know we're doing it right. There's nothing better than a good example.

Anyway, DeWitte and I have been together for almost 20 years and every once in a while you need to spice things up. Not that we've got a bad sex life, on the contrary, it's exceptional, even after all these years. I think it's because we don't look at other naked people if we can help it. It keeps the disappointment level way down. If you've ever seen us, you know that we look more like lowered expectations from Mad TV then any BenandJen or Bradjulina or whatever you call those pretty people.

Well, our anniversary is next month and I've been thinking of getting us something fun but I can't bring myself to go into one of those shops. I'm afraid I'll run into somebody I know. "Hey Pastor Jim..what are you doing here? I didn't even know you got married. Oh..you didn't..Ok, well um..." You can see how that might get uncomfortable. So I clicked the link. Somebody wanna tell me how long I've been asleep? Good Lord! They've got stuff for body parts I didn't even know I had! I've heard of breast pumps, those are pretty useful but what the hell would you do with a nipple pump? And Pyrex..when did they get in on that kind of action? Now I can't use my pans anymore without that vision running through my head.

Frankly..most of that stuff looks painful. Not exactly up my ally so I don't know. I do know that whatever I decide to buy us, I'm gonna have shipped to DeWitte's work. (Sorry, DeWitte, don't fall on the floor with embarrassment...he's a lot like my Dad that way.) Nathan always opens any packages that come here and he's still waiting for his cat to lay eggs...that's not something I would want to explain. He'll figure that out on his own, anyway, if he gets married and has kids.

Thanks Mom!