Now Is There Any Broccoli Soup?
After DeWitte's dad died, DeWitte had to sell his
house. I'm not sure how he picked the realtor but I'm sure he had no idea that
she planned on becoming the best realtor in the universe. She's proven this by
sending, at least once a week, some kind of promotional paraphernalia. I won't
put her name here because I'm sure she googles herself daily to find out what
wonderful things people are saying about her, we'll just call her Harriet
Homeseller. It's a joke at the house because she sends so much stuff, she must
spend more money on postage than Spitzer spends on nookie, in a
week.
Friday night we went to a new restaurant. It's
called the Purple Cow, kind of a diner type place but with less red and a lot
more purple. The place was packed and the hostess apologized for having to seat
us next to the kitchen. I didn't really mind, I like to be able to read all
those signs they put up in restaurant kitchens. Golden Corral has feel good
signs, "Just believe in yourself", stuff like that. They ought to be careful,
there. If those guys start to believe too much in themselves, they might
realized that it sucks to work at Golden Corral and find themselves a different
job. They have to work as much as a regular server but because it's a buffet,
most people don't tip. This restaurant only had boring signs, like clean up your
own damn mess. I should put one of those up in my kitchen, it might just save me
some work.
Our server came and took our drink orders.. a
really nice kid named Kirk. He brought us our iced teas and went off to look for
Nathan's chocolate milk. I don't know why it was lost but Kirk was determined to
find it. He came back with an apology and a chocolate shake instead and asked if we
still wanted the milk..No thanks Kirk, I think the chocolate shake will be
enough to sugar Nathan up very nicely.
Kirk took our orders and I switched my seat over to
DeWitte's side of the booth so that I could do some people watching. I'd already
read all of the kitchen signs, so I thought people watching sounded more fun.
Not two min. later, Kirk's back, asking if we're OK. Yep, Kirk, we're perfectly
fine, but thanks for asking. DeWitte and I go back to our people watching while
Nathan tries to see the TV, which is just out of his sight line. Why do they
keep putting TV's in restaurants, anyhow. Isn't the point of going out to get
away from stuff like that? Ohp! Kirks back! How are we now? Well, it's only been
about a min. and a half since the last time you asked, not too much has changed
other than Nathan turning into some kind of contortionist with the ability to
bend his neck in such an unnatural position it was almost resting on the
guys back behind him because he really wanted to see that TV. The next time Kirk
came back..it must have been the third or fourth time in under 10 min, I asked
him for straws to make him feel appreciated.
Finally, Kirk brings out our food, sans silverware,
and we never saw him again until after we were done eating. I flagged down
another guy and asked him for a fork. When we were almost done, this man and
woman came in. The man was pretty old, you can tell because he had that old guy
look. The button up shirt with the required spiral top notebook and pen in his
breast pocket. I think you get those at a certain birthday, just so people know
to respect you because you're old but I'm not sure which one. The woman was much
younger. DeWitte and I were speculating whether it was his daughter or his wife
but then another guy joined them carrying the woman's purse, so that answered
that question.
Around that time Kirk showed back up and asked if
we wanted our check. Then he went to the table with the party of three, got
their drink order and asked if they were ok. I see how he works now, he eases
you into a sense of false security and then pulls the rug out from under. The
old guy asked if they had broccoli soup and Kirk told them they didn't. When
Kirk brought out their drinks the old guy asked again, any broccoli soup? No,
sorry still no broccoli soup. When Kirk took their order, the old guy ordered a
grilled cheese sandwich with "JUST CHEESE" and a bowl of broccoli soup. Wow,
cantankerous and forgetful, you'd think he'd use that notebook more often.
Kirk brought our check and I took out my debit
card. I set it on the table and Kirk came back and asked if I wanted him to take
that, or? Or what Kirk? I have options here? I just told him yes. Then he
brought back my receipt to sign and asked if I needed a pen. I thought about
saying no and borrowing the old guys pen but I didn't want him to yell at me,
too. So, Kirk roots around and around in his apron, trying to find a pen, when
he pulls out this humongous novelty pen, how he lost that giant pen in that
small apron is anyone's guess, I wondered if that's where Nathan's chocolate
milk might be. I kind of giggled at the size of the pen and then I read the side
then I busted up laughing. "Harriet Homeseller, realtor extraordinaire! She's
everywhere you want to be!" She's not kidding!
I hope Kirk didn't think I was laughing at him or
next time he might not be so helpful.
Comments
"more money on postage than Spitzer spends on nookie" LMAO!
Seriously, you, DeWitte and Nathan have all the fun! Thanks for giving me a good laugh on a pretty craptacular Monday!
My father in law is a realtor..I don't think I I have had to buy pens or notepads or coffee mugs in a decade... LOL
That was awesome.