Ham, Ham the magical fruit..

So, I was at the store yesterday to pick up something for dinner. DeWitte wanted ham and hominy because he's southern and they eat weird stuff like that down here. The ham itself is questionable because, even if you cut off all the fat, I'm not sure how lean it is. Hominy is just weird food period. Who thought to soak corn in lye, which is soap, until it puffed up to the size of a garbanzo bean with a chewy texture and then eat it? A crazy person, that's who. You wouldn't grab a piece of corn out of the bottom of the sink after you did the dishes and eat it, would you? I rest my case, a nut job.

I usually buy just a slice of ham and split it between the three of us. However, one piece of ham cost six dollars and a ham itself cost nine because of the magic of Thanksgiving. I bought the ham, which was my first mistake. I brought it home, and cut off a piece for dinner, leaving the rest out so I could cut it up into serving sized pieces and freeze it with dollar signs in my eyes..that was my second mistake.

Apprently, ham is more attractive than crack in this house. All evening DeWitte and Nathan kept sneaking in the kitchen for "just one more piece". By the time I went to cut it up, it looked like it'd been attacked by a flock of velociraptors.

My third mistake was telling them it was precooked..next time I'm gonna tell them it's raw, as far as they know, and they might get worms, like the mom did in A Christmas Story and maybe they'll stay out of it. With my luck, though, the bumpass hounds will get in the house and eat it before I get it put away.

As of lunch time today, they've eaten all but a quarter of it..they had ham for a snack, breakfast and lunch. They're such ham junkies, I might have to get a ham safe for the next time I bring one in the house.