A Fish Story
My koi didn't make it though the winter,
apparently. I don't have any little fish skeletons or anything to prove that but
I haven't seen the tell tale wiggle movement in the plants that I usually
do..it's not like I'd see actual fish. They were stuck up and would only come
out of hiding if nobody was standing near by. If you wanted to see them, you had
to see them from afar. I guess it's a good thing that it's impossible to
become emotionally attached to fish or I might feel bad.
I don't really even need fish in the koi pond but
when people come over, they always ask if there are fish and seem
excited when I say yes. I don't tell them that they don't have a chance in hell
of seeing them peeking over the edge, like they do. I'd hate for people to feel
disappointed when they come over so yesterday I replaced them.
First we went to the small locally owned pet store
run by the hippy's. They've got a bunch of snakes and lizards, I stay away from
that part of the store. They've got a huge amount of birds, I think they breed
them. Not to offend anybody with a bird but I think birds in the house are about
the worst pet, besides a snake, on the planet. They've got a couple gerbils and
the stuff to go with them. They're touchy feely when it comes to their animals.
Some lady asked if the owner hippy lady could make a bird talk and was told, "We
don't make them do anything! They talk through their own free will!
Hmp!" That explains their parenting style. They've got the creepiest little kid
on the planet. She's only about 4 but she's waaaayyy too friendly...in a pest
kind of way. I would have told her about stranger danger but her dad wasn't
standing very far from her gum flapping. I sicced her on Nathan,
instead.
I got some rabbit food and Nathan got a cat toy and
was playing with the birds..not forcing them to talk, of course. I went back and
looked at their koi..the smallest ones, not much bigger than a goldfish were
$12.99 a piece! What the hell do they feed them, wheat grass and rainbows? No
small koi is worth that much so I just took what I had and went to the register.
Nathan comes over and asks "Didn't you get any koi?" No, I tell him, wink, wink,
nudge, nudge, say no more..please, I was just looking. The
hippy guy sashays up to the register.."But that's why we came here!"
Nathan responds. I give him the evil eye, trying to shut him up because I don't
want to say that I'd fill that koi pond with blue gill before I'd spend that
much on a fish. That might break hippy guys spirit. I wouldn't want that to
happen. He might decide that the pet free will thing wasn't a good idea
anymore and break the store dogs free will habit of humping the larger dog
toys.
So, it was off to Petsmart. I never know, is that
supposed to be Petsmart or Petsmart? Either way, I repeated
the mantra "Please don't let the Fish Lady be there" during the entire drive. The
Fish Lady takes her job way too seriously. I think she names every fish and
knows them on sight. She drills you like you're gonna take home her fish
and cook them for dinner. Sure enough, we walk into the fish area and there's
the Fish Lady..shoot.
I pick out the smallest koi they have and they were
still bigger than the hippies fish. They were only $5.99 a piece. I guess it
pays to buy in bulk. I get the Fish Ladies attention, she was singing a lullaby
to the guppies, and told her I wanted five koi. She asks what kind of tank I
have..I tell her I don't have a tank, which isn't technically true, DeWitte's
got a tank, I've got a pond. How many gallons, she asks..Well, I don't really
know, we filled it up with a hose, not a bucket. I knew it was big enough for
five fish, I've had more than that in there before I killed them. I didn't want
to tell her that, she might call the cops and have me arrested for
fishacide. I assured her that my pond was plenty big and that I don't
even eat fish, so she didn't have to worry about that, could she just
give me the five biggest in the tank? She reluctantly agrees to let them go and
scoops them, gently, into the bag. She gave me a big long lecture about letting
the bag sit in the pond for... I tuned it out, I had to get home and make
dinner. No, we didn't have fish sticks.
So now, I'm the proud owner of five new koi that
I'll try my best not to kill. I just hope these are more social than the last
ones but I bet they are. They're used to the Fish Lady reading them a story,
like The Rainbow Fish and tucking them in every night..they'll be grateful when
I remember to feed them, unless the frogs eat them first. Just don't tell the
Fish Lady, ok?
Comments
omg lol@
What the hell do they feed them, wheat grass and rainbows?
hahaha!
My NDNs have a pond and the first winter they removed them & took them inside. Then before last year they dug the pond deeper so they wouldn't freeze. They all survived. This year, I can't tell. The water's so murky still I don't know, I can see a lot of the little ones but only a couple of the big ones. I think they lost one or 2 last year when the uncle dumped some mystery water in there. But her brother is a fish'pert. But you may want to either bring them in next winter or see how much deeper you need to dig it (if you feel like undertaking that project!)
I think it's PetsMart, which is a sort of double entendre because it's a pets Mart and you are Smart for shopping there for your pet (or so they would like you to think).
And as crazy as the fish lady is, you're actually lucky you have someone there that cares about the fish. My sister said at ours there are always floaters and who wants to buy fish if it might be the next floater?
I used to do the same thing Nathan did to you. My mom wouldn't clue me in, she'd try to get me the 12 year old haircut price so when they'd ask her, she'd say 12 and I'd say I'M THIRTEEN! (i was at that age, you know!) No wonder she hated me for so long. But all she had to do was give me the word beforehand.
I don't know what happened to them this year..it didn't even get cold enough to freeze the top of the pond..I'm betting that some egret had a nice full belly when he was done..those fish had gotten huge!
oh, yeah, I was gonna mention the birds...maybe you could put a screen over it, at least for the winter.
I haven't ever seen the NDN's attempt suicide, I guess they are pretty content!
BTW - I've wondered the same thing about Petsmart! Did you ever find out?
Why do Petsmart employees ask so many questions? When I go to Walmart and buy pool stuff or grass seed, I don't get inundated with "How big is your pool?" or "What kind of dirt do you have in your yard?" - Yet, PS employees want to know all my business. I think we should start faking answers. "Oh, thanks for asking - I have a 1,000 gallon tank. I had it built on site just for koi and I have rocks brought in from overseas. You'll, of course, NEVER see anything like it working here. Nice shoes, by the way."